Monday, 14 October 2013

BC/AD


Nothing can prepare you.

Even when you have harboured suspicions that there might be something seriously wrong, the words still hit you like a hammer blow.

“You have cancer”.

Suddenly everything becomes BC and AD.

Before Cancer, After Diagnosis.

In less than the time it takes to draw a breath, the person you were in the years BC has left the room.

And for a while it feels like he has taken every friend or lover you have ever had with him.

The contemplation of your own fragile mortality is a very lonely process.

________


While still trying to absorb and come to terms with the diagnosis -- and the often debilitating consequences of the treatment -- you suddenly notice you have stopped planning.

It really is quite a shock.

We all plan. It is a central plank of our very existence. Next week, next month, next year. Retirement. Children’s graduation. Wedding anniversaries. We all plan. We can’t help it.

But the freshman AD just stops doing it. Perhaps not entirely consciously, but stop it does.

The future is no longer a fascinating mystery in which we surrender our inhibitions and indulge our fantasies.

It is dark, painful and so very scary. The freshman AD just doesn’t (want to) think about it.

Period.

_________

TBC.....























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2 comments:

KaMan.Kong said...

Dear Chris, (I hope it's okay to call you Chris :) )

I came across your work about 6 months ago. I was mostly interested in your work during your time in Hong Kong working for TVB and on the side, what you have been doing with Ridealist. I was raised in Hong Kong and got the chance to study abroad with the help of scholarships, which led me down the path of journalism. I do not end up being a journalist and started getting interested in the idea of social enterprise instead. I always had this huge question mark at the back of my head blinking, asking: how can I use my journalistic skills and help make my community a better place, without technically being a journalist?

As you can imagine, Ridealist is an inspiration for me - it is not just your business model, but also the contents. They always make me think for a long while after watching each video. And every time I watch one, I tell myself : Wow, now what can I do to help solve THAT problem? Maybe it's about being conscious of my own living; maybe it's about extending help to my neighbours/communities who face these problems. But whatever it is, and however little my action is, I believe you, your wife and Ridealist have made a change in my life.

Anyway, I'm sorry that I am not being as eloquent as I'd like to be. I think I am just still shocked from this piece of news and I want to tell you that I am truly sorry. I am sorry that my hometown somehow caused this. I know it probably doesn't make sense, but I think you deserve better.
I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better - I have never been in the same situation so anything I say is just rubbish. But please know that you are in my prayers and my thoughts. And I believe there are a lot of people out there, like me, who are cheering for you.

I'm sending you all of my warmest wishes, do keep us updated!

Warmest warmest regards,
Carmen

KaMan.Kong said...

Dear Chris, (I hope it's okay to call you Chris :) )

I came across your work about 6 months ago. I was mostly interested in your work during your time in Hong Kong working for TVB and on the side, what you have been doing with Ridealist. I was raised in Hong Kong and got the chance to study abroad with the help of scholarships, which led me down the path of journalism. I do not end up being a journalist (mostly due to laziness/lack of clarity from my part) and started getting interested in the idea of social enterprise. I always had this huge question mark at the back of my head blinking, asking: how can I use my journalistic skills and help make my community a better place, without technically being a journalist?

As you can imagine, Ridealist is an inspiration for me - it is not just your business model, but also the contents. They always make me think for a long while after watching each video. And every time I watch one, I tell myself : Wow, now what can I do to help solve THAT problem? Maybe it's about being conscious of my own living; maybe it's about extending help to my neighbours/communities who face these problems. But whatever it is, and however little my action is, I believe you, your wife and Ridealist have made a change in my life.

Anyway, I'm sorry that I am not being as eloquent as I'd like to be. I think I am just still shocked from this piece of news and I want to tell you that I am truly sorry. I am sorry that my hometown somehow caused this. I know it probably doesn't make sense, but I think you deserve better.
I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better - i have never been in the same situation so anything I say is just rubbish. But please know that you are in my prayers and my thoughts. And I believe there are a lot of people out there, like me, who are cheering for you.

I'm sending you all of my warmest wishes, do keep us updated!

Warmest warmest regards,
Carmen